My forbidden love is once again, consuming my body and soul

"Puff Daddy: I'll be missing you" on Google Video
Video Puff Daddy - I'll be missing you. Sad video lovely video. PUFF DADDY - I'LL BE MISSING YOU download FREE!!

<sub>Okay so it's been awhile....
Justin and I are back together and I am the happiest I have ever been. I am such an idiot. I should have never put him through what I did.  I'm so thankful he took me back I love him so much. I want to get married and have kids and grow old with him I don't want to hurt him again. I'm trying teh best I can.............I just want to make him happy. Things, for the most part have been going AMAZING. We have had a couple of arguments 
but it my fault. I know it is. But it's not like it was before. We fight yeah, but its not as bad as what it was in the past. Thigs are so much different now. 


It sucks really bad though cause I don't get to see him as much as i used to. Now we both have friday's off that way we can go tto the football games. and when the games are away we are going to go out. Then we have sunday's I got ALL sunday's off, so i can pick him up from work and spend the evening with him.  Now, I'm hoping that I will get to spend one or two days with him during the week. Like tonight we both have it off and I hope i get to see him.... I don't think mom will have a problem ...
Well I have to go back to study hall now....




-Beautifully.Broken.</sub>






Did I mention that I love you with everything that I have???

Well
just 
so 
you
know
I 
DO

You told me to look at this so I am....


I can't tell you enough how sorry I am. I'M SORRY!
I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!
I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! 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I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

I miss you, the way you look at me, the way you smile, the way we fit perfectly together.
I LOVE YOU. Yes we fight, but regaurdless of what happens our love was always there.. Always showing us that we ARE ment to be.
I wish there was a way to show you I won't strike out. I iwsh you could believe me. I wish that I wasn't an idiot.
I can't believe I was so stupid.


"Love....Hate...Pain....
It all comes down to one thing, why I still love you and why I still care... Maybe its the way you look at me or the way you wear your hair... As I sit here and realize what I did to make you turn away...Babe, I'm sorry for ALL the pain I put you through."

I just wish that things would work out. I wish you could see that I know I did you wrong...
I know that I hurt you. I know that there is nothing that I can do to change it. If there was I WOULD!
I know that this is all my fault.

"I know you love me so I will not weep
cause not once did you make me feel cheap.
Words could never express how I feel
but when I'm with you I'm so happy it's unreal.
You alwyas treated me right
I'm sorry my anger caused us to fight.
I know there were times when I treated you wrong
I'm sorry,I guess it was just my way of tring to tbe strong.
You know its you who holds all my love,
to me it seems as if you were sent to me from above.
I never wanted to lose you
Cause i knew my feelings tward you were true.
No matter what I do I just can't get opver the fact I'm in love with you, and this you should alrady know.
Without you I'm hurt, lost, and in a daze.I hope these feelings will pass like nothing more than a phase.
I stumble for the rigth words to say because I hope maybe they'll make you want to come back and stay."

Baby, I'm losing it... All the confidence I have. When it comes to you I'm just putty in your hands. I love you and I'm so sorry I'm not perfect.... 


But one thing I am 10000000000000000000000000000000000000% sure of
is simply this. I love you with all my heart and I will NOT strike out!

<sub>Yeah so it’s been a while... 
Well first off, we only have a few weeks till SPRING BREAK!!!!!!! P.C.B. BABY!!!!!! I'm excited about that. I’m supposed to go to Terre Haute the week before but I don't know if mom is going to let me. I really hope she does.  I broke up with Justin on Friday..... Probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had to do it though, but I do love him and I always have. It's too long to write in this B*tch. LoL if ya'll want to know Just let me know depending on who you are I might fill you in. School is going okay. My grades are alright... March 1st will be one year since my grandpa passed. I went and talked to him yesterday.  I didn't end up falling asleep last night till around one.  I'm super tired.... Today after school I'm going to Gas City to get money, gas, tan, and maybe eat. I don’t know. I know I need gas!!  Sara might go but she said she might have plans. Ummmm.... I donno if there is anything else I need to put in here..... So, hopefully I'll start writing in this again....


XOXO

-T.J.-</sub>

Yesterday was eight months......Eight months since he died and that hurts. I didn’t really think about it. I know that if I think about it it’ll only make me sad but GOD do I miss him. He wasn’t healthy for the longest time even before he was in the hospital I would hear him at all hours of the night and when I stay over there now I am forever waiting for his call to me. I have seen the grave but only 2 times. I can't I just don't know what to do...I mean I say that I’m going to take a picture to him because that is something he ALWAYS loved. I would get them and the first thing I wanted to do was go over there to see him and give him my pictures! Report cards that was another thing he loved......Report cards. Yeah that wasn't so hot this time. I mean they really never are but you know he always seemed so happy to see me no matter how bad it was. All in all I really do miss the old fart. I miss the times I would go over there for one thing. And that one thing was to make my grandpa a cake. I can’t do that anymore. Every time I am at that house I am forever waiting for his call to me. Well as always I’m out……

Okay well since my last entry Justin and I are a lot better. I mean as in I was crazy to say that. I Love him so much~! I don’t know what I would do without him!!!! I wanna marry that boy!!!! Other than him nothing has really been going on…. Well Brittany is mad at me, but what else is new… I’m just going to let her stay mad, I mean she’s pissed coz I don’t like Caleb…. Well I’m sorry, but I don’t have to like everyone, and she said that the first three months Justin and I started dating I ignored her and didn’t talk to her. How is that possible because I was grounded from everything. And I was always trying to help with her and tom so yeah whatever she can be pissed but I’m not saying anything this time it’s not my fault she’s pissed off at me~! Whatever……

 

                   ………………..<3 TeeJ <3…………………..

If you have seen 70 or more of these flicks, you are an OFFICIAL movie whore!

Copy, paste, fill out, and post.


( )Rocky Horror Picture show
(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) The Mexican
(X) Fight Club
(X) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
( ) The Princess Bride
(X) Young Frankenstien
(X) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(X) Napoleon Dynamite
(X) Saw
(X) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(X) Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
(X) Jason X
(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
(X) Scream 3
(X) Scary Movie
(X) Scary Movie 2
(X) Scary Movie 3
(X) American Pie
(X) American Pie 2
(X) American Wedding
(X) Harry Potter
(X) Harry Potter 2
(X) Harry Potter 3
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(X) The Village
( ) Donnie Darko
(X) Lilo & Stitch
(X) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) 13 Ghosts
( ) Signs
(X) The Grinch
(X) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(X) White Chicks
(X) Butterfly Effect
( ) Thirteen going on 30
(X) I Robot
(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came A Spider
( ) Deep impact
( ) KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(X) Meet the Fockers
(X) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
(X) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
(X) Final Destination
(X) Final Destination 2
(X) Halloween
(X) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(X) Practical Magic
(X) Chicago
(X) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
(X) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(X) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
(X) The Day After Tomorrow
(X) Child's Play
(X) Bride of Chucky
(X) Seed of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
(X) Just Married
(X) Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Coach Carter
(X) Bad Boys
(X) Bad Boys 2
(X) Joy Ride
( ) Seven
(X) Oceans Eleven
( ) Oceans Twelve
(X) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(X) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
(X) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(X) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(X) ET
(X) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
( ) Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(X) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(X) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(X) Ever after (I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!)
(X) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) X-men
(X) X-2: X-Men United
(X) Jeepers Creepers
(X) Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Others
(X) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
(X) Cruel Intentions
(X) The Hot Chick
(X) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(X) Old School
( ) Ray
( ) The Notebook
(X) K-Pax
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(X) A Walk to Remember
(X) Boogeyman
( ) Hitch
( ) The Fifth Element
( ) Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
( ) Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
( ) Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
( ) Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
( ) Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi
(X) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
( ) Air Force One
(X) For Richer or Poorer
( ) Trainspotting
(X) People Under the Stairs
( ) Blue Velvet
(X) Sound of music
(X) Parent Trap 1
(X) Parent Trap 2
( ) The Burbs
(X) The Terminator
( ) Empire
( ) SLC Punk
(X) Meet Joe Black
( ) Wild Girls
( ) A Clockwork Orange
( ) The Order
(X) Spider-man
(X) Spider-man 2
( ) Amelie
(X) Mean Girls
(X) Shrek
(X) Shrek 2
(X) The Incredibles
( ) Collateral
(X) The Fast & The Furious
(X) 2 Fast 2 Furious
( ) Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
( ) Closer
(X) Titanic
( ) Saved
( ) Bowling For Columbine
( ) Farenheit 9/11
(X) The Sixth Sense
(X) AI: Artificial intelligence
( ) Love Actually
( ) Shutter
( ) Ella Enchanted
(X) Princess Diaries
(X) Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
( ) Constantine
( ) Million Dollar Baby
( ) Envy
(X) Eurotrip
(X) Road Trip
(X) Malibu's Most Wanted
(X) Big Daddy
(X) Black Sheep
( ) The Breakfast Club
( ) West Side Story
(X) A Christmas Story
( ) Spanglish
( ) Pulp Fiction
( ) Sleepover
( ) The Evil Dead
( ) Killer Klowns From Outer Space
( ) Vanilla Sky
(X) The Nightmare Before Christmas
(X) Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
(X) Interview With a Vampire
(X) The Crow
( ) Purple Rain
( ) Reservoir Dogs
(X) Wayne's World
(X) Wayne's World 2
( ) 21 Grams
( ) Honey
(X) Save the Last Dance
( ) Blow
(X) Edward Scissorhands
( ) Clerks
( ) Guess Who
( ) Monster In-Law
(X) Elf
(X) Stuart Little
(X) Stuart Little 2
( ) Mallrats
( ) Chasing Amy
(X) Dogma
(X) Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
(X) Friday
(X) Next Friday
( ) Friday After Next
(X) Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
(X) Beetlejuice
( ) Last Samurai
( ) The Aviator
(X) Romeo and Juliet
(X) Beautyshop
(X) Legally Blonde
(X) Legally Blonde 2
(X) The Forgotten
(X) Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
(X) Grudge
( ) Wimbledon
(X) Bring It On
( ) Bring It On Again
( ) Flight of the Phoenix
(X) Johnson's Family Vacation
( ) National Lampoon's Vacation
( ) National Lampoons Vegas Vacation
( ) 2001: A Space Odyssey
( ) Dr. Strangelove Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb
( ) Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
( ) Animal House
(X) Happy Gilmore
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Monty Python's The Life of Brian
( ) Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
( ) CaddyShack
( ) Caddyshack 2
( ) Casablanca
(X) Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery
(X) Austin Powers, The Spy Who Shagged Me
(X) Austin Powers, Goldmember
( ) From Justin to Kelly
( ) Thirteen
(X) School of Rock
(X) Along Came Polly
( ) Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
(X) The Goonies
( ) State of Grace
(X) Clueless
( ) House of Sand and Fog
( ) Liberty Heights
( ) Brown Sugar
(X) Love & Basketball
( ) The Big Lebowski
( ) Tombstone
( ) Mystic River
(X) Dead Man Walking
( ) Major League
( ) American History X
( ) The Professional
( ) Garden State
( ) The Rookie
( ) My Girl
( ) My Girl 2
( ) Less than Zero
(X) Barber Shop
(X) Serendipity
( ) Audition
(X) The Sandlot
( ) The Bad News Bears
( ) Harold and Maude
( ) Roxanne
( ) Fantastic Four
(X) Can't Hardly Wait
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX) Drop Dead Fred
( ) Pretty in Pink
( ) Natural Born Killers
(X) Rules of Attraction
( ) Thelma and Louise
(X) The Longest Yard
( ) Airheads
(X) Cool Runnings
(X) A League of Their Own
( ) Stand By Me
( ) Encino Man
( ) Underworld
( ) Super Troopers
( ) Spy Hard
( ) Top Gun
( ) Black Hawk Down
( ) Formula 51
(X) Gone In 60 Seconds
( ) Batman Begins
(X) Ghostbusters
(X) Hook
( ) Peter Pan (old disney version)
( ) Peter Pan (new version)

          Justin is mad at me and I donno why, like I broke up with him last Saturday and today I was like I'm gonna go to gas city and he got pissed and said whatever bye, so when I got home I called him. He thought I was ditching him to go see someone else because we were supposed to hang out today and we couldn't because mom and kev are in bed. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now I told him we were friends and Damnit if he's not okay with that then he's not okay with me. I can't be with him. He's too jealous and I have guy friends and I know he HATES that, but I donno what to tell him. I'm not gonna stop being friends with guys for my boyfriend. I don't think that’s right anyway. Yeah I like him still but I don't want to be with him right now. And Damnit I don't want him waiting around for me that’s not right for him to do either. I wish I would have stuck with my gut and told Brittany that I don't wanna talk to him, because all I've done since we started talking is hurt him, and hurt myself. I care too much for him to let him stay with me. All I'm doing is pretty much fucking with him and I don't mean to I just. I just don't know anymore! I want to move at the end of the summer. I want to go to Terre Haute and leave this life this hell that I go through everyday. Honestly I don't think I could do. I couldn't leave my family, my friends, everyone. I, I just want to make everyone happy, but in making them happy I'm making T.J. unhappy and I'm tired of living like that...                         Okay well Justin and I talked he's sorry and we are us. He makes me happy, I don't want anyone else, but right now I don't want him either. I want to be me; I want to be the smartass, the bitch, the T.J. that everyone knows. I'm glad he's waiting this out with me and I have a good feeling that everyhting will go back to good, will go back to happy. Sooner or later. I don't care which, but when it happens we will all know and I will be thankful that all of this happened, I can't be happy about this yet. That’s okay because this will hake us better, stronger and all of that happy jazz~!

                                                                         TeeJ

 

          Justin is mad at me and I donno why, like I broke up with him last Saturday and today I was like I'm gonna go to gas city and he got pissed and said whatever bye, so when I got home I called him. He thought I was ditching him to go see someone else because we were supposed to hang out today and we couldn't because mom and kev are in bed. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now I told him we were friends and Damnit if he's not okay with that then he's not okay with me. I can't be with him. He's too jealous and I have guy friends and I know he HATES that, but I donno what to tell him. I'm not gonna stop being friends with guys for my boyfriend. I don't think that’s right anyway. Yeah I like him still but I don't want to be with him right now. And Damnit I don't want him waiting around for me that’s not right for him to do either. I wish I would have stuck with my gut and told Brittany that I don't wanna talk to him, because all I've done since we started talking is hurt him, and hurt myself. I care too much for him to let him stay with me. All I'm doing is pretty much fucking with him and I don't mean to I just. I just don't know anymore! I want to move at the end of the summer. I want to go to Terre Haute and leave this life this hell that I go through everyday. Honestly I don't think I could do. I couldn't leave my family, my friends, everyone. I, I just want to make everyone happy, but in making them happy I'm making T.J. unhappy and I'm tired of living like that...

             Okay well Justin and I talked he's sorry and we are us. He makes me happy, I don't want anyone else, but right now I don't want him either. I want to be me; I want to be the smartass, the bitch, the T.J. that everyone knows. I'm glad he's waiting this out with me and I have a good feeling that everyhting will go back to good, will go back to happy. Sooner or later. I don't care which, but when it happens we will all know and I will be thankful that all of this happened, I can't be happy about this yet. That’s okay because this will hake us better, stronger and all of that happy jazz~!

                                                                         TeeJ

 

OKay Ya'll It's been a while but i thought i'd drop a few lines....
Nothing has really happened, I broke up with Justin Saturday night. I don't know anymore i mean i don't think i liked him as much as i wanted to. I fell like such a bitch for what i put him through but what has happened has happened and there is nothing i can do about that now. I got to Kings Island I'm excited i really am i've never been and i hope it's fun fun fun!!! :)

X the things you've done

(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
(x) been in love
(X) purposely hurt yourself
(X) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of my parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your myspace friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
( ) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from myspace.
( ) been hxc dancing at a show
(x) been in an abusive relationship (physical and or mental)
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(X) been misunderstood
(X) pet a reindeer/goat
(X) won a contest
( ) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(X) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(X) felt like an outcast
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(X) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced-not for serious tho
(X) questioned your heart
(X) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swam in the ocean
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
(X) played cops and robbers
(X) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(X) sung karaoke
(X) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain
(X) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(X) gone rollerskating
(X) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(X) kissed a mirror
(X) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(X) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(X) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(X) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(X) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(X) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch
(X) played chicken
(X) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(X) been told you're hot by a complete stranger.
( ) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
(X) cried so hard you laughed
(X) mooned/flashed someone
(X) had someone moon/flash you
(X) cheated on a test
(X) have a Brittany Spears CD
(X) forgotten someone's name
( ) slept naked
(x)French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
( ) masturbated more than twice in one day
( ) went home with someone you met at a club
(X) lied about your age

OKay all there ya go...Thats it and maybe now that it's summer I'll get on here and write more like I used too but yeah ya know how that goes!!!
T.J.

Tonight was good Justin came to my cousin's and stayed for a while It was fun we just sit and watched T.V. He kissed me at the end of the night and it was so sweet. He's a great guy and one of the sweetest one's I've ever met~! :)
             ...I've been thinkning a lot and I don't know what to do anymore...Mixed feelings suck I'm scared helpless and falling into a bigger and BIGGER hole..No one knows how i feel and damnit I don't know who to turn to...I don't know how to explain how I feel but I hurt inside everytime I move..I don't mean how I'm in pain from softball either but that is there too but I'll get over that pretty soon after a couple of practices I'll be okay and once games get started I'll be better...
              Mom has surgery Monday....Nothing big just "Women stuff" LoL...*sighs* I hate to cry over stuff...And I think that holding it in is even worse but what do I do? Who can I talk to...Ya know I think it hurts worse when no one understands. 
               I think Mom and I are going to have a long talk tomorrow....She may hate hearing all this shit but actually she does help me and she's one of the only people that won't go blab to everyone at school...

                                       Well actually i think thats about it...*T.J.*

Well it's been a while..My life never has anything fun....I have been thinking about moving to Terre Haute with Dallas and Coutney... Good Idea Bad Idea..Haven't decided yet but there is a major posibility that I won't be at M-G next year... I don't know if i can I'm afraid of how mom will take it and i don't want to hurt her...Since grandpa died she's been off...I mean she's different..i think he took a piece of her heart when he died and she's like walking in a daze...Anyway.... well i'm going to have to cut this short bell's about to ring.....

                                                                        T.J.

Yes well it has been along time~! *Sighs* Noting has been going on actually that’s a lie; I haven’t really done much though.  Okay well I guess Cory isn’t new news but yeah I do still like him and I have this weird feeling that he knows~! :S I haven’t told him or anyone else so it must be pretty obvious~!**y*e want me to mess around with him and ya know I’m thinking that I’m not good enough to date but I’m good enough to mess around with FUCK THAT~! FUCK HIM~! And I  won’t do it not this time if he doesn’t like me well so be It I will not put myself through that again~! Bells gonna ring pretty soon I should get back to English   Oh how fun~!

TeeJ

Happy New Year~! Lol I have one week~! Oh I cannot wait~! I have to start cleaning today though, that’s just freaking great~! M-G won Grant for they beat MISSISSINEWA and Eastbrook I was so happy that they beat ole miss~! :D Nothing really has been going on…I got a pacer jersey. Not the one I wanted but I did get one so I’m happy. And it is a throwback. Even better~! I had a good Christmas, and a good new years eve~! Other than that nothings happened…we go back to skool Monday…. ~! :S Damnit~! Well I’m out~!

Yeah well my breaks been okay so far......IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE~! YAY~! I'm so happy for that. Mom said i didn't get what i asked for..which was 2 things....A Derek Jeter #2 Yankees Jersey, and A Jermaine O'Neal Throwback....shes like we got you all kinds of stuff and we didn't get you what you wanted so yeah~! Nothing else has really been going on...SNOW SNOW SNOW~! Yeah baby lol i was so happy~! Aaron came to Fairmount Wednesday night to see me but he didn't stay longcoz it was snowing and i was freaking cold~! NOw i'm sick thats just freaking GREAT~! 1 day before christmas and i feel like shit~! Well I'm out for now~!

Right now i'm sitting in the library....I'm actually in foods class..but Mrs. Clevenger isn't here. This day hasn't been all that bad i guess....I can't freaking wait till the game tonight.....Dallas is so heartbroken!! La De Freaking da! I'm sorry! ya know i bitched about this yesterday and i still feel like ya know when he was in high school he got to live his life, so i think i should be able to without him getting mad at me....I'll be down there...BRIGHT AND FREAKING EARLY because we're leaving at 6:00am....Which sucks i won't be at bowling, and i'll be so freaking tired! It sucks....Well i doubt they'll be more later because Andrew wants me to go to bowling tonight so he's taking me home after school so i can get my ball and leave....!* THEN THE BASKETBALL GAME HELL YEAH! i am so happy~!:D later ~*~¤TeeJ*¤~*

I'm at my aunts right now nothing really has been going on... Tomorrow is our last day till break and I'm happy about that! The Mississinewa M-G game is tomorrow too and I can't wait!! Dallas graduates from college Saturday. Mom and Kevin are leaving tomorrow like during the day and I guess we were supposed to have Christmas with Dallas and Courtney Friday but I’m not going down there until Saturday and I guess Dallas is upset… Well I’m sorry but ya know I do have a life too and they take me down there all the time and for once I’m going to live my life…! I mean I usually never have a problem with picking up and leaving. This time is different… This is Chance’s SENIOR year and I want to see him play M-G one last time. I’m sure we’ll lose but ya know I think I’ll be okay. I think Andy, Larry, and Derik are going to the game too, which is pretty cool… I’ll get to see them! Brittney is coming to her dad’s next Wednesday until Sunday I think so maybe we’ll be able to catch up with them and hang out… That would be pretty fun! I met this other guy from Mississinewa his name is Aaron Smith, he’s a junior he seems nice so far but I don’t really know him lol!  Well I think that is about it for now. Hopefully I’ll write some this weekend but I’m not really sure yet. Later

I'm at my aunts i just got here and i'm eating chicken!! My birthday is in 30 days I'm so happy! I'm having a party out here which will be pretty cool...i can have 20 people and i've got 31 so yeah i gotta cut it down! ummmm....Bowling is doin okay really i think I'm "over Aron" because it sucks that  we never talk and when we do its me talking to him he's too quiet! So yeah....i thought i liked Josh Flowers and i was wrong.I like Cory and not Josh its weird that they are brothers but I thouhgt I liked Josh and i liked Cory the whole time and i realized that today so yeah! That may sound shallow but ya know i can't ever decide what the heck is going on with me...Cory is so sweet and ya know Josh reminds me of Aron they are TOOOOOO FREAKING QUIET~! I can't help it! If I can't carry on a convorsation then its no fun.Thats the thing with Cory He'll actually talk to me and yeah Josh does but he doesn't carry on a convorsation....So yeah sorry....Okay welll i think thats it lata!

I  just got to my aunts and i finished watching Cold Case oh my it was really sad only 2 have ever made me cry...one ws where these 3 people beat up a gay person and the one tonight was about this orphan that was beat and was a little brat..they gave him shock treatment to help him calm him down and he got a bad fever and it killed him he was 6 and it was just sad because this happened in 1958 and they just solved the case(well its fake i know but still) it was sad! Anyways~! I haven't talked to Ryan in a while and i think that is the best thing for me! I mean if i would talk to him all he would prolly do is hurt me so i think not talking to him is GREAT! I have been talking to Larry Harris a lot lately...amanda's ex boyfriend. He's pretty cool, he is one of Mike, Derik, and Andy's friend...One of them damn Mississinewa guys..but we're just friends and i think thats all we'll be becasue he is my cousins ex yeah he like hates her...SSShhhhh lol and ya know she had her chance and lost it but i really don't want her to hate me.. listen to this bullshit watch us date lol! All I'm going to say is what happens happenes and i can't help that lol! The reason for this is when Larry and i first met he told amanda he thought i was cute and i said the same thing to her and she got so pissed off at us it wasn't even funny...okay yeah it was but i have a sick humor  like that!:D....umm well actually thats about it...Um....Aron and Rudy are okay I'm bowling with Aron at city again We'll win again lol:D Sara is bowling with Rudy.....School still sucks but we have 10 days left thank god!! welp I'm out!~~*¤TeeJ¤*~

Haven’t been on in a while and I just thought I should write and give everybody the 411.....So here goes.....
.Life isn't going to bad thanksgiving is Thursday and I’m happy about that I get to see all my family.  I don't think I’m going to my dads because it’s at my uncles house and his wife is a bitch so I may just decide not to go!!  Dallas, Courtney and Calee are coming home tomorrow night oh my gosh I love her she is my world...I have a detention tonight because Mr. Murray is a stupid buttface!! OMG! I hate him and his class!!  I still haven't talked to Ryan and I am really proud of myself! I don't plan on ever talking to him either....that’s another reason I don't want to  go to thanksgiving at my dads.....God only knows what Ryan has told Brandt! I'm actually scared to find out....I don't know what is going on with me and Aron I think I still like him but lately I just feel like I annoy him and he doesn't like speaking to me and I really haven't done anything for him to feel this way about me I don't know how he feels...I'm hopefully going to the Mississinewa Basketball game tomorrow I hope Kevin will take me...I want to see Chance play this is the first game of the season and he is a senior so I want to go watch him play.  Actually  I think that would be about it but I should be able to get some more updates because we’re not doing much in yearbook so that’s it for now later days!!